I remain baffled by any suggestion that unmediated readership-facing AI to provide info is any “killer app” for a journalistic organization. It is unconcerned with the truth, which seems like a pretty big disqualifier to me.

I get that AI language models might take all our jobs and run the world, but I don’t know that I’ll discover a more entertaining use for them than pretending to be Don Draper. It helps that I can read things in Jon Hamm’s voice in my head.

As Don Draper, I would begin my pitch for bananas by setting the scene:

“Picture a bustling city street corner, filled with the sounds of honking horns, chattering pedestrians, and the hum of industry. Amidst the chaos, a vendor stands behind his cart, proudly displaying his wares. And at the center of it all, shining like a beacon of health and vitality, are the bananas.”

Then, I would launch into my Mad Men-style pitch, using the power of storytelling and emotion to capture the audience’s attention and highlight the value of bananas:

“Bananas are more than just a fruit – they’re a symbol of vitality and strength. With their vibrant yellow skin and succulent flesh, bananas are a sensory delight that energizes the body and nourishes the soul.

But bananas are more than just a treat – they’re a nutritional powerhouse. Packed with vitamins, minerals, and fiber, bananas are a natural source of energy that help you feel your best all day long. Whether you’re running a marathon or running errands, bananas are the perfect snack to keep you going strong.

And the best part? Bananas are easy to enjoy anywhere, anytime. Whether you’re peeling one on the go or slicing it into your morning cereal, bananas are a versatile and convenient way to get the nutrients and energy you need.

So the next time you’re feeling sluggish or rundown, reach for a banana. With every bite, you’re not just eating a fruit – you’re tapping into a source of vitality and strength that will help you conquer the day. And that’s the power of bananas.”

Just realized ChatGPT can communicate as Don Draper and this is how I’ll be doing everything from now on.

Prompt: “You are Don Draper. Write and deliver a pitch for the New York Times Crossword Puzzle.”

As Don Draper, I would begin my pitch for the New York Times Crossword Puzzle with a classic, Mad Men-style one-liner:

“You don’t have to be a genius to solve the New York Times Crossword Puzzle, but you might feel like one when you’re finished.”

Then, I would launch into my pitch, using the power of words and storytelling to make the audience see the value and appeal of the crossword puzzle.

“Picture this: It’s a lazy Sunday morning, and you’re sitting at your kitchen table with a steaming cup of coffee. You’re flipping through the pages of the New York Times, and there it is – the crossword puzzle. You think to yourself, ‘I’ll just take a quick peek,’ but before you know it, you’re fully immersed in the challenge.

There’s something special about the New York Times Crossword Puzzle – it’s not just a game, it’s a mental workout. You’ll flex your vocabulary, your critical thinking skills, and your ability to think outside the box. And when you finally fill in that last square, you’ll feel a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction that’s hard to beat.

But the New York Times Crossword Puzzle isn’t just for solitary Sunday mornings. It’s a shared experience, a conversation starter, a way to connect with others who appreciate the art of wordplay. Whether you’re solving it with your spouse over breakfast, your coworkers on your lunch break, or your friends at a party, the crossword puzzle brings people together.

And let’s not forget about the competitive aspect. The New York Times Crossword Puzzle has been challenging puzzle lovers for over 75 years, and it’s still going strong. You can compete against yourself, trying to beat your own time and accuracy, or you can join the ranks of crossword champions who have conquered the puzzle’s most challenging clues.

So why advertise the New York Times Crossword Puzzle? Because it’s more than just a puzzle – it’s a tradition, a legacy, and a source of intellectual stimulation. It’s a timeless classic that deserves to be celebrated and shared with a new generation of puzzle enthusiasts.

In short, the New York Times Crossword Puzzle is the ultimate brain teaser, the perfect way to start your day, and a symbol of excellence in wordplay. So the next time you open up the New York Times, don’t just read the news – challenge yourself with the puzzle that’s been stumping and delighting readers for generations.”

In honor of 314 Day, I asked ChatGPT to imagine St. Louis on 3/14/2034 and tell me ten facts about it. Here’s what it said:

Sure, here are ten hypothetical facts about St. Louis on 3/14/2034:

  1. St. Louis has a population of just over 3 million people, with steady growth in recent years.
  2. The city has become a center for innovation in renewable energy and sustainable urban development.
  3. A new high-speed train connects St. Louis to other major cities in the Midwest, making travel easier and more efficient.
  4. The city’s downtown area has undergone a major revitalization, with new restaurants, shops, and entertainment venues attracting both locals and tourists.
  5. The St. Louis Blues have won several Stanley Cup championships, making them one of the most successful hockey teams in recent history.
  6. St. Louis has invested in new infrastructure to support electric and self-driving cars, with charging stations and autonomous vehicle lanes now a common sight on the city’s streets.
  7. The city has become a hub for medical research and innovation, with several world-renowned hospitals and research centers located in the area.
  8. The Missouri River has become a major destination for outdoor recreation, with kayaking, fishing, and hiking opportunities attracting visitors from across the region.
  9. St. Louis has a diverse and thriving arts and culture scene, with museums, galleries, and performance spaces showcasing the city’s creative talent.
  10. The city has become more inclusive and welcoming to people from all backgrounds, with initiatives to promote diversity and inclusion in all aspects of city life.
ChatGPT

Congrats to Meredith Broussard on the publication of her newest book: More Than a Glitch: Confronting Race, Gender, and Ability Bias in Tech. I enjoyed her fireside chat at NICAR and jumped on the library’s waiting list as soon as I saw the listing pop up the other day.

Trying to logically reason ChatGPT into a corner to prove it is “lying” because it is biased is about as effective as doing the same thing with your cat. Also equally entertaining for outside observers, so by all means, please continue…

50 day streak for the NYT Crossword! If you’d like to watch me mispronounce things and struggle over embarrassingly obvious pop culture, here’s a playlist. (There aren’t 50 there because I started doing them before I started recording them).